Looking for those solo achievers...

While looking at loneliness and time spent alone I have also found myself thinking about the value of time spent alone.

Being alone can be a necessity or just the result of circumstances but those things that you achieve by yourself, aren't they the best won prizes? The most satisfying? For me this project is a kind of trial, a test, to see if I CAN make a show almost entirely on my own. As I have mentioned I have never done it before and I've found myself thinking about what I call 'The Power of One'.

Throughout history there are individuals who have made significant solo achievements, started movements and broken records, often just to see if they could. One person can make a difference. One person can achieve a lot, if they put their mind to it.

Think about Dame Ellen MacArthur, 'the fastest person to circumnavigate the globe single-handedly'. She steered a huge boat over 26,000 miles, by herself, in just 71 days and broke a world record. It sounds impressive doesn't it? 

But I think about this... she had no-one else to rely on when things got hard. When she got injured, burning her arm and cracking her forehead open she had to carry on because there was no-one else.  She was against the clock AND at the mercy of the elements meaning she couldn't afford to sleep much but she also had to keep functioning at an incredibly high level on this lack of sleep. I wonder how many times she cried, how lonely she must have felt, how exhausted and terrified she must have been. I wonder how often she considered she might die out there, all alone.

I wonder how much she thought about that before she went. Was she prepared to die for her ambition? Or is that something you cannot consider if you are going to do these things?

And so what I am now looking for is more of these remarkable people. Individuals, dead or alive and not just sporting, who have made great solo achievements. And I need your help. If you can think of any, you can tweet me @Yorkshirebint and use the hashtag #solo or email me jayekearney61@googlemail.com

Thanks.

Christmas is a difficult enough time...

... for people who have lost someone. Holidays remind us of those we love and their absence, of happy times shared, and the adverts of all the happy families and adoring couples don't help much (they're not great for single people either but that is an entirely different issue).

I have to admit that the memory of James going into surgery to have a tumor "the size of an orange" removed on Christmas Day the year before he died aside, for me, Christmas is no more painful than any other time of year. At least it wasn't until X-Factor released a version of Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah, in a bid for the infamous Christmas number one, couple of years ago.

Because this is the song that played as his coffin rolled into the flames.

And I can't listen to it without tearing up. It's not a conscious thing, if I hear more than a couple of lines it just kind of happens so I have to leave the room or turn the volume off (may never be able to watch Shrek EVER again).

So, this is where my problems start because now this bloody song is a Christmas single which means it gets played EVERY BLOODY YEAR!!! Along with Mad World by Gary Jules which was played as the coffin was carried IN to the funeral... (don't get me started on how much I hate him for ruining two perfectly good songs forever). It is no longer just playing on a loop in every sodding shop but the buskers are at it too. I nearly deafened myself turning my headphones up to full volume while attempting to run past the busker outside Next today, looking like some kind of nutter.

So what is my point? Maybe that we should think about what song we might like played at our funerals and not pick classic tunes that we might forever ruin for those we leave behind...

This one is for you

I found out about 90 minutes ago that my best friend's father has died. I knew it was coming and yet I am shaken. She's miles away and I cannot be there for her. Rationally I know there is nothing I could do even if I were. Her life has changed forever.

And the beautiful sychronicity of life is that today is my father's birthday. And I am shaken.

Today Jimmy Saville, who lived in Leeds and had a house in Scarborough where she and I met, had his coffin on display today ahead of his funeral in Scarborough tomorrow. And I am shaken.

Next Friday I will be performing in The Queen's Hotel in Leeds where Jimmy Saville's coffin was on display today. And I am shaken.

The show I made and will be performing in is about grieving. And I am shaken.

Death is everywhere. It touches every life. It is the only certainty we will ever face. And I am shaken.