This one is for you

I found out about 90 minutes ago that my best friend's father has died. I knew it was coming and yet I am shaken. She's miles away and I cannot be there for her. Rationally I know there is nothing I could do even if I were. Her life has changed forever.

And the beautiful sychronicity of life is that today is my father's birthday. And I am shaken.

Today Jimmy Saville, who lived in Leeds and had a house in Scarborough where she and I met, had his coffin on display today ahead of his funeral in Scarborough tomorrow. And I am shaken.

Next Friday I will be performing in The Queen's Hotel in Leeds where Jimmy Saville's coffin was on display today. And I am shaken.

The show I made and will be performing in is about grieving. And I am shaken.

Death is everywhere. It touches every life. It is the only certainty we will ever face. And I am shaken.

Hunting the elephant

Three days spent 'hunting the elephant' in the gorgeous (but freezing cold) shop units in the Corn Exchange with Ellie, a costume designer, a scenographer and another performer/video artist. The joining of four spaces allowed us to play with proximity and distance. Framing and reflections of self. Hidden and revealed. Public and private grief.

How do we share what we feel? And what is appropriate?

We are getting closer to discovering the frame for our investigation and a way of bringing the elephant out in to the open.

Next step - trying a different kind of space and see what that reveals.

I can't wait to see what we find.